Things you did not know you wanted to know.
You would need approximately 17.66 billion tuna cans to fill up the volume of the Great Pyramid of Giza.
This is a rough estimation, and in reality, the cans wouldn't fit perfectly without some gaps in between.
In Austria for a week, I was met with windows that defied opening, resistant as if guarding old secrets. My meals were punctuated by the weighty presence of Wiener Schnitzels, each bite a reminder of tradition. The gardens bore statues, their inscrutable forms keeping silent vigil among the greenery. Austere houses lined the streets, their stoic facades revealing little warmth or mirth. Yet, an inexplicable fondness for lamp poles was evident, standing solemnly at intervals, their stark contrast to the environment only deepening the enigma of this land.
In the dim corner of a Japanese dive,
People looked as if Pokémon had come alive.
Robot dogs slouched, their eyes vacant, deep,
Godzilla’s ghost somewhere, lost in his sleep.
Weird sushis moved, like dreams on a plate,
And trains, too damn fast, never willing to wait.
Those insane TV shows, they scream and they shout,
But it's life, raw and real, of that, there's no doubt.
The evening began with laughter and cheers, our home filled with friends, the garden blooming under the twinkling fairy lights. Everything spiraled when the pinata exploded, shooting candy and firecrackers into the crowd, the first spark to ignite our impending disaster. Amid the chaos, the BBQ grill capsized, spreading flames that danced across the lawn, setting the carefully manicured garden ablaze. Our once pristine house turned into a chaotic war zone, with ravaged decor, overturned furniture, and guests frantically scrambling. Yet, despite the pandemonium, the party raged on, our laughter echoing louder than the sirens in the distance, the disaster turning into the wildest and most memorable night of our lives.
Today a couple Microsoft executives came to our department to demo their enigmatic "CLIANC" device. With a soft hum, the box shot out a sheet of plastic. It whirled in the air before draping over several unsuspecting colleagues - 'capturing' them in a playful, yet uncanny display of prospective customer acquisition.
This little machine literally captures clients by wrapping them in plastic. How smart.
This past weekend, an unusual specimen of a cat, simultaneously existing in states of life and death, materialised in my backyard. As time progressed, it, under my guardianship, recaptured its vitality, escaping the uncertain existence it was tethered to. The symbiotic relationship between us evolved, and the cat began to flourish, relishing the freedom it had not previously known. Then, just yesterday, there was an unexpected disturbance at my door. It was none other than my neighbour, Mr. Schrödinger, who was noticeably perturbed. His treasured feline, it seems, had escaped its box. Relinquishing the cat back to him was done with an undertone of melancholy.
In San Francisco, there is a bizarre Indian restaurant called "The Floating Masala Mansion" that defies the laws of gravity. Hovering upside-down, I found myself amidst a bizarre gastronomical ballet. The aggressive waiters, shod in gravity-defying boots, zipped across the ceiling, delivering sizzling tandoori dishes with a fiery glint in their eyes. As I slurped rogan josh from a levitating bowl, it dawned on me: dining here was like mastering the art of inverted chaos, spiced with an adventurous dash of the absurd.
In an outlandish dream, I found myself surfing a colossal wave of shimmering, liquid gold that carried me straight to the throne of England. Enigmatic orbs filled with electric mist encircled me, whispering ancient secrets into my mind. I grasped a glowing sceptre formed from stardust, and as holy oil infused with celestial energy anointed me, I soared through the skies on a majestic narwhal, commanding an airborne legion of iridescent peacocks, embracing my fantastical reign.
Yesterday, I had one of the most interesting conversations of my life with a friend. He's convinced that the earth is flat and is even building a rocket in his backyard to try and prove it. Now, I know what you're thinking - how could someone be so convinced of something that has been scientifically proven time and time again? But honestly, I was more amused than anything else.
As we chatted, my friend raved on about the government and how they manipulate our minds to make us obedient. It was all a big conspiracy, he said, and the flat earth theory was just the tip of the iceberg.
The next day, I received a call from him telling me that his rocket had taken off successfully. I was impressed but still doubtful of his theory. But when he sent me a picture of the earth from space, my jaw dropped.
The earth was shaped like a donut! I couldn't believe my eyes, and I couldn't explain how or why this was happening. But one thing was for sure, my friend's theory might not have been completely right, but it wasn't completely wrong either.
As I sit here pondering on this new discovery, I can't help but wonder what other secrets the universe holds. What else have we gotten wrong, and what else will we discover as we continue to explore the vastness of space?
I can't believe what happened to me in Switzerland. I went there with great excitement to explore the beautiful landscapes and indulge myself in Swiss cheese and fondue. But what I experienced was something beyond my understanding, something strange and demented.
As I reached there, I couldn't resist trying the famous fondue. The molten cheese was so delicious that I had it every day. But there was something wrong with it. As days passed, I found all my equations and important documents sticky. I panicked and couldn't understand what was happening. Was it the fondue?
The more I thought about it, the more it felt like the cheese was cursed. And that's when I discovered something shocking. The locals believed that there was a curse on cheese-making in Switzerland. They said that long ago, a cheesemaker had angered the gods, and since then, all cheese made in Switzerland is doomed.
We had taken a walk through the sprawling desert of New Mexico, keeping an eye out for strange and interesting sights. Little did I know at the time, that the strangest thing we would find that day was far from what any of us could have expected.
Around midday, our curious eyes stumbled upon tangled cables snaking through the sand. We followed the cables and found a hole in the ground. With nothing better to do and an atmosphere of excitement, we decided to venture closer, carefully descending down the hole. We followed a tunnel, lined with strange markings, all the way to a few small, enclosed rooms.
As we stepped into one of the rooms, we were met with a strange and wondrous sight - row after row of old computers, all completely covered in sand. It was clear that had been there for a very long time.
We walked through one of the room and saw a man. He was covered in sand and seemed to be working on a computer. He said, "What are you here for?" I said, "I think I'm here for the prize." He said, "The what?" I said, "The house." He said, "The house." Then I saw that he was right, and it was probably a secret base where the government was studying. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just walked around and saw things.
We stood there for some time, awed by this weird and wonderful secret hidden in the desert. And though we may never know the truth of what had occurred there, the mystery will linger in our minds forever.
Professional mathematician Raymond Trace is working on a device for controlling intercontinental missiles. What this looks like is something in scale to a shoe box, about 3 inches in height and about 2 inches by 1 inch side. This is made out of mini computers who only have a display screen. It has an antenna that connects to the Internet wirelessly. He pre-programs a couple passwords and once the missile launches, he falls down two DNA scans and clicks on a unique word that is teleported directly into Jordan's computer. Jordan begins digitizing his brain waves while the missile is soaring through the cloudless sky. Another mini computer send the worms all over Jordan's body and when everything reaches insertion point, it creates more worms that counter attack causing erroneous thoughts before it is even completly inserted into his consciousness. This will be an evolution of technological control within NATO countries, Germany being one of them, they will have complete control over every nook and cranny with their technological monitoring devices freely walking around Europe undetected still recording everything around them. They are actually safe little beings called "system parasites". Where there are 16 parasites for each neuron innermost are our muscles but you can't see them or feel their presence so they move unobstructed until your brain scans data enter your vestibular space or what people perceive as subconscious spaces which causes the actual parasite to reactivate its outer shell which causes those muscles to contract feeling anything from 50 million to 1 billion times stronger depending on how damaged your tissues were.
I am so excited to visit Rotterdam for art week! The city is filled with beautiful architecture, amazing people and of course, bad food. The bad food is one of the most underrated things about Rotterdam, it's really something else. But I guess the bad food is what makes Rotterdam such a special place.
I hate flying but the worst part was the maniac sitting next to me. He was constantly talking to himself and fidgeting. I had no idea what he was saying and I was starting to get scared. He kept looking at me and I thought he was going to do something crazy. Thankfully, he got off the plane before it arrived in Rotterdam.
Just look at me! I'm a much better version of myself. I didn't have to go through all that trouble to get this portrait made—all I had to do was use an app. I can't believe how good I look!
As I walked through the Museum of Antique Sciences, I couldn't help but feel inspired.
Far away in ancient Greece, there were mathematicians who were creating amazing devices that we would today call calculators! These devices were made of stone and marble, as they were not yet using electricity.
One such mathematician was Dolmades of Perga. He is credited with inventing the first handheld calculator, which was known as a "pulley machine." This device consisted of a number of ropes that were pulled by a person, and the ropes would then turn a wheel, which would then calculate the value of a number.
Dolmades is also credited with creating a number of other devices that we use today, such as the abacus and the quadratic equation solver. He is also known for his work in geometry and for his studies of the orbits of the planets.
Most of these device were actually performing completely wrong calculations.
Happy New Year 2023 !
I am so glad that the year has ended
We are all adults now
And I think it's time to joyously present
The new year with a sense of jubilation
When we are all together, in one place
I believe that happy times are ahead us
May you find love in all the wrong places
And I'm looking forward to a very tired new year
When I arrived at the office this morning, I noticed that the coffee machine had been replaced with a much more complex model. I was unable to make a coffee, and I am a professional mathematician, so I was quite disappointed. The new cups also seemed different - they were smaller and had a different shape. They are made of plastic and have a small hole in the middle of them... I would love to know what the reasoning behind this change was, and whether or not it will have any impact on my productivity.
I had a weird dream about Mars. At first it was nice ...
I walked for hours and hours, but there was no end in sight. The air was thin and I could feel the coldness seeping into my bones. Finally, I came to a dead end. I had been walking in circles. I was so lost, I could have been on Mars for years and I would still never find my way back home.
I sat down on the ground and put my head in my hands. I was so tired and I had no idea what to do. But then I heard a noise. It was like a car, but it was too low to be a car. It was coming closer and closer. I could hear the engine growling and I knew that it was going to stop. I didn't have a choice. I had to get up and face it.
When I got closer, I could see that the car was a garbage truck. The driver was a mean looking man and he was looking at me with contempt. He shook his fist at me and I could see the garbage bags in the back of the truck. He was going to dump all of his garbage on me and I would have to clean it up.
